With all these laws of the Universe that I have become aware of like the Law of Attraction, Law of Deliberate Creation, etc. plus my Catholic faith and the fact I have a conscience …it’s a struggle for me to stay BAD!
Yesterday, I was feeling really upset because of the grievance caused me the last week. So, I blogged about the people who wronged me in a very vindictive, mean way – I called them names and such. But today, I felt really guilty for behaving badly. So, I deleted the vengeful blog posts in Facebook and Blogger.
But I just retaliated. I didn’t start the fight.
Oh, why couldn’t I stay bad? Why should I forgive?
IT'S SOOO NOT FAIR!Then, it hit me: Because as humans, we are created in God’s image and likeness. Thus, I am INNATELY GOOD.
And I am truly blissful and happy because of this ...
Like I have mentioned, I was a recent victim of cyber-bullying. But unlike other victims, I stood up and fought!
I immediately reported the matter to the authorities, and within no time, through the help and expertise of my ever-loving and supportive techie husband, we were able to track the culprit down.
The real giveaway was the comment sent to my husband’s blog where the IP address of the sender was captured by our host site.
(Google map of the culprit's address who used the fictitious email of firstname.lastname@example.org)
Now, we just needed to match the same with the IP address of the other messages.
I sent Facebook messages to both Lutun and Mark, baiting them to reply so I could get their IP address. With Facebook messages, the IP address is cloaked, but could easily be decoded (add me as friend and I will show you exactly how).
(This was the cloaked IP address from Facebook that we needed to decode. This was the IP address used by Lutun)
Mark was sending messages from his office and the IP address did not match with the one we have on our record. Then, Lutun sent me several messages and her IP address was an exact match!
(When decoded, the IP address used was an exact match as that used in writing derogatory comments on my husband's blog)
Here are the tips that helped me tracked down the real culprit:
1. Do not delete messages. (you’d need proof)
2. Do not retaliate (to keep the messages coming).
3. Report the matter immediately to authorities.
4. Google for IP address tracking, and when you find it, map it.
5. Pay to get a detailed report on fictitious emails.
6. When you are sure, bully back (oops, that was just me being mean... lol).
My awareness of this SPD thing was an “aha” moment for me. Now, it made sense why JM didn’t enjoy her first time on the beach.
We planned to spend our second weekend here in NY to go to the beach. In Long Island. All of us were so excited. I was more excited for JM knowing it was her first time.
(Train fr Penn Stn to Long Beach)
I remember my childhood days when our family would go on beach outings. It was always so full of laughter and fun. You can’t help but fall in love with the beaches in the Philippines. They’re all lovely and superb.
So, I had this same expectation that weekend we went to Long Beach. (It was actually my first time too, in 7 years. There were no good beaches near and around Toronto, CA, so our family vacations there were mostly sightseeing and enjoying waterparks).
Oh, boy, were we soooooo disappointed! The water was freezing cold! My husband and I were wondering the whole time if the water was coming from Alaska!
JM was traumatized by the cold and salty water. She shivered to the bones and we had to spend the rest of the afternoon with trying to make her feel more comfy … making sand castles, digging holes, looking for starfishes and shells, anything to make her feel better.
(JM was still shivering fr the cold here. Just watched her Dad making sand castle)
But now when I come to think of it, with this new SPD awareness, I remember JM playing in the sand while I was preparing our lunch, before we even went in the water. So, she made use of her hands and probably her sensory stimuli were triggered, coupled with the cold water that then led to her meltdown.
(An episode on the beach)
What I know for sure is that we’re never going back to Long Beach. But we’ll still give NY the benefit of the doubt and try its other beaches. Sandy Hook’s next to be rated!
Yesterday, I was introduced to Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD).
Sensory Processing Disorder(formerly known as "sensory integration dysfunction") is a condition that exists when sensory signals don't get organized into appropriate responses.
A friend of ours, who is an occupational therapist, commented that perhaps my 5-yr old JM has SPD. Naturally, I refused to believe the same. People here in North America tend to overreact to kids who are hyperactive, and quickly misdiagnose super hyper kids with ADD, ADHD, ABCD, or what-have-yous.
Anyways, I just know that my JM is hyper coz she’s the only girl among her brood. With 3 boys to play with at all times, she’s obviously gonna be rough and hyper as her brothers when she plays. It's just normal for her to act that way. Heck, I was the same growing up! (up till now … lol… maybe I have the disorder, too! .. haha)
Well, my occupational therapist friend showed me.
We were making Banana bread and muffins yesterday and her kids and my JM were to mix the ingredients. She noticed that JM didn’t want her hands dirty. Whenever some mixture got to her hands, she would immediately wipe it off on her shirt or go to the sink and wash. My friend told me it is one of the signs of kids having SPD.
She experimented on JM that day, giving her activities where she made use of her hands and feet, to see how JM would react. First, she asked JM (and her kids) to play with flour, and true enough, JM would always wipe off her hands after some time.
Next, she asked all the kids to go outside and walk on the grass barefooted, which JM did hesitantly, but seemed to enjoy the activity after some time. My friend told me it must be just the hands where JM is overly-sensitive. So, she asked the kids to touch the grass with their palms and do the crab walk. Again, JM’s reaction was to wipe off each time.
(She did not like the feel of the grass on her hands and legs)
Then, we went back to the kitchen table and my friend gave the kids whipped cream and maple syrup to play with. It didn’t even last 5 minutes before she got up and went to the washroom to wash her hands.
(She was only using her fingertips & not letting the icky stuff get onto her palms)
My friend told me that kids with SPD usually act aggressively or throw a tantrum after doing activities that trigger their sensory stimuli so I had to watch JM’s behaviour afterwards. JM seemed to be her normal self (you know, running around the house, jumping up and down the couch, crashing herself to furniture, being hyper and all that).
Later that night, I asked JM if she liked the activities coz it looked like she did, and she said she hated them and would not want to do them again.
I never thought that she may have any disorder, but as my friend explained to me, all those were signs that I had to be aware of to help JM (and my other kids) in their growing up years.
Ok. So, that was last night. Fortunately, no tantrums whatsoever.
This morning, I witnessed the after-effect.
JM had a big … no, I mean, huge … meltdown! She “woke up on the wrong side of the bed” and just all of a sudden, cried, like there was no tomorrow. I could tolerate crying if something caused it. But for no apparent reason (other than me asking her if she wanted to eat breakfast already and distracted her watching Dora), she just wailed on top of her lungs. Now that I was aware of her “disorder”, I tried comforting her, putting my arms around her and hugging her tight, which just made the wailing worst. I asked her to stop but she said she couldn’t. I don’t know if I should laugh or be mad by that reply, but I just let her be. She cried for a good half an hour (or more, I don’t really remember).
And then, she was fine. Like nothing happened. She was her old self again playing bubbles outside.
(Notice the way she's holding the bubble container w/c was a bit sandy)
Perhaps, she really has this thing called SPD. Or perhaps not. Perhaps, she’s just being a kid ... a normal kid who is hyper, happy, sensitive, rough… (Heck, all my kids act the same, so now I have to deal with four of them having this disorder … I don’t know how to take it … lol)
But now that I am aware of SPD, I can make use of this knowledge to react in a more compassionate way towards my kids from now on. This can be good.